Old Ella dog
Sadly, I went to the vet. to see about euthanasia for e-dog this morning. She had a ’spell’ last night and another today at lunch - either a stroke, seizure or something like that (this was the fourth); she is also finding it very difficult to walk and has a number of other health concerns due to being an old, old girl. It will likely happen on Friday morning so that I have the weekend to ball my eyes out. I cried for hours last night, again today at work and I went home after lunch. She is resting comfortably at the moment but she hasn’t wagged her tail in a couple of months and she gets the ‘thousand yard stare’ often though she still has her moments of lucidity. She is not eating much either so hopefully we will be able to give her some of her favourite meals in the next couple of days: strawberries, ice cream, chocolate, steak, sweet potatoes/squash and oranges. Hey, maybe throw in a beer! Some of you know that e-dog liked her beer and wine in her younger years; in fact, she liked to eat almost anything except chili pepper and salmon. (Unfortunately, I can’t drink at all at this time as it aggravates my sinus condition - too bad.) I will be ok as will R. - it does seem like time as sad as it is. We know a lovely forest spot to bury her near here where her spirit will be able to roam with the ocean, mountains, and rivers.
Here are some of my favourite pictures of ‘the princess.’ The aging process has really accelerated in the last year, more so in the last three months. She has had a life of many adventures including being seriously lost twice. I am so glad I didn’t give up on her when I came home from work shortly after choosing her from the pound and she had totally destroyed a couch (fortunately it was a second hand couch but still). She has never growled or bitten anyone despite the trauma she likely experienced before being adopted by me. Just a real sweetheart as some of you know and she will be missed.
SHe is a luved puppy and dang that is going to make he soul soar all the more. Hugs to you kids through this process.
I just sent stina a link to your blog, she just lost her mother in law and her cat last week. I said hello to the filipe and yiron family for you.
Comment by Xtie — July 10, 2007 @ 12:59 pm
Thanks TPL.
I didn’t know about C’s cat on top of SP’s death … poor her/them.
Comment by Xtie — July 10, 2007 @ 6:46 pm
hey c…thinking of you…have not had any contact with dr. m in a long time…m. died over 8 years ago! I don’t remember ella being that young even then so it is like she has lived two dog lives…good for you and for her….I know how hard it is…still is sounds like it is time and best not to be alone me thinks…it was nice that you were there for me …I have many ella stories in my head and some pics too….good idea to take some time off…write when you can
love, d
Comment by Xtie — July 10, 2007 @ 11:34 pm
Hi C,
I am very sorry to hear that you have to put Ella to sleep - but it sounds like it is for the better, at least for her sake. If you need to talk to anyone, do let me know - as much as I’m constantly keeping busy, I am always here to chat!
Love C.
Comment by Xtie — July 11, 2007 @ 6:05 am
C,
P. and I cried when we read your e-mail this morning. It’s a tough decision to make. Our vet said we all hope that they will just fall asleep, but it rarely happens that way. You gave her the
best 16 people years of her long life and she loved you abundantly in return. It is too bad that dogs don’t live as long as we do. We will keep you and R. and Ella in our thoughts.
Love, G
Comment by Xtie — July 11, 2007 @ 7:15 pm
My dear C. and R.,
I can’t tell you how we feel for you at this time. As you know we went through this with A. last September. Utterly gut wrenching. Enormous grief.
Dear Ella. Such a wonderful companion.
Tears are coming as I write. The pain of separation.
As you say she will be missed deeply.
much love to you both from G. and I.
Comment by Xtie — July 11, 2007 @ 7:17 pm
Hi C,
Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m crying now, too, and as you know I’m not the greatest fan of dogs. But Ella is, of course, elevated to human-dog-cat status. And I know just how painful and heart-rending it is to have to lose an old, dear friend. I know what you are going through, because as you know I recently went through it with E. I vacillated so many times about having the vet come over to euthanize her. Two years later, I STILL get moments when I think “maybe if I’d done [insert suggestion here] she would have been OK and died peacefully on her own…” But alas, it just wasn’t to be. Like Ella, her health was failing rapidly, her organs were going, etc. And the vet-death method was peaceful and dignified.
I’m so glad you had 16 great years with Ella. And of course, she’s a lucky pooch to have ended up with you. I know how hard this will be on you, and I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you (and bawling my own eyes out as I write this, for you, Ella and my E.) It’s a hard time, to be sure. I hope you’re doing OK. It’s good you’ll have the weekend. It’s also good to have so many photos and memories, and your old friends who have known Ella for as long as you have. I hope they can offer you some support, and of course, I want to offer mine, too.
Take care,
Love,
L
x0x0
Comment by Xtie — July 11, 2007 @ 7:19 pm
My thoughts are with you, my friend. It is tough, I know. Give Ella a gentle hug from me. I only met her once or twice years ago in Ottawa. I know what it is to have your heart entangled with any animal or bird and to have it broken when they leave you. An odd source of consolation (I have found) is that it is mostly rougher on you than your friend…as you are the one being left. Ella’s best part will always be with you though…her good dog spirit.
Thinking of you with love and a big bear hug.
N
xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoox
Comment by Xtie — July 11, 2007 @ 7:20 pm
awwww. bye bye ella! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo
Comment by Xtie — July 11, 2007 @ 7:21 pm
Hey XT:
I am so sorry to hear about Ella.
Your description of her health so much reminded me of my brother’s dog Dawson during her last months and days on this planet before the same inevitable decision was sadly but courageously made. Especially when she stopped wagging her tail. She was such a sweetheart too.
Hopefully they will meet on the animal planet (I think she is a dog Ella would like !) - an animal post this planet paradise I choose to believe in. And there Ella will have everlasting access to all of her many favourite things - including wine and squirrels of course - and be young and healthy once again and forever !
I was remembering that of all the dogs my family had (10) none reached old age and all that it brings. All died suddenly or were euthanized because of an acute illness. This is me trying to say that I have not been where you are but I am very much thinking of you. This is such an awesome act of love we are thankfully able to give our beloved animals -something that results in such loss and grief for us but will give them the second greatest gift of a gentle, peaceful, loving death. The greatest, I believe, being a loving, caring and sweet life. Which, of course, Ella has had in a very big way.
Much love to you C.
D
xoxoxo
Comment by Xtie — July 12, 2007 @ 1:31 am
sorry to hear about Ella. We had to put our Sam down last year. It’s no fun at all. Take care!!
bc
Comment by Xtie — July 12, 2007 @ 1:32 am
Hi,
you know, the first thought i had on reading your letter was that you
two are just great together. when any of us puts out energy–well
where ever we put it, that’s what grows for us. you gave a lot to ella
and i think she gave a lot to you.
i remember when your friends from nova scotia stayed at the
house. L. worked for
tubby (better known as sir criminal black, i think) at the ottawa
branch of his newspaper chain. Anyway, ella figured out immediately
that her partner B. got up
early and went for long walks and would take her along. ella didn’t waste any
time being sentimental about those who might have walked her in the
past. and while i had a moment of abandonment and resentment, i
admired how practical and agreeable ella is. i still do.
words are a poor substitute for just about anything. still, it’s the
voice we have that helps us frame things. you summon the energy that
you can. you live with all the style and engagement you can muster and
that’s glorious.
love,
p
Comment by Xtie — July 12, 2007 @ 1:35 am
Dear C and R,
So sorry to hear the sad news. Our hearts go out. Hope you are okay.
Huge hugs, B & I
Comment by Xtie — July 12, 2007 @ 1:36 am
Dear C,
Thanks so much for your e-mail, and I’m so sorry to hear about Ella. At
over 16, she is old, and the decline probably started with the
cross-country move last year (which would be stressful and challenging for
a much younger dog, but even more so for a dog in her senior years). I
still remember how excited she got over carrots when you were still at the
house with R. living upstairs way back when we started Making Scenes,
and I’m glad that I got to see her three years ago during the Canada
Council jury. Reading your e-mail brought back all kinds of emotions and
memories about my dog, which we had to put down at age 14 because of liver
problems. He was also so weak that he could hardly lift himself and walk,
and he was throwing up almost everything he ate. It was heartbreaking to
see our life companions decline to that state, and to know that they have
reached the end of their life. I hope Ella goes peacefully in her sleep,
and that her spirit will love the spot in the forest where she will rest.
Hope you and R. are well despite this tough decision to let Ella go.
Take good care, and sending you big hugs and much love.
P
Comment by Xtie — July 12, 2007 @ 1:39 am
I am so very sorry XC. Ella is such a beautiful creature and such a huge part of your lives. It was a week ago yesterday that we put down our sweet Smokey. It still hurts. I try to take comfort in knowing that we cared for and loved our beloved friend, even when it meant making a most difficult decision to end the suffering.
I hope you and R share all the memories you have gathered over the many years together. I still remember first meeting Ella and will think of her always as a spirited and loving doggie. Bye bye sweet Ella.
Comment by Cristina — July 12, 2007 @ 5:24 pm
C,
I am sad for your sadness. You have really enjoyed the companionship of Ella, and so of course you will miss her tremendously. But Ella has lived a long life, and a very good one, being fortunate to have lived with you (and R.)…..ice cream?! I remember when our dog Bengy couldn’t walk. It is terribly sad to see. So, may Ella go to doggy heaven, and may you be comforted that you were the best ‘mom’ Ella could have.
Love and kisses to you and R. (and Ella)
S
Comment by Xtie — July 12, 2007 @ 8:04 pm
Hi C and (R too):
Oh so sad this is…… losing a good friend like she has been, Life is so short and precious.
My fondest memory of Ella is when I’d visit you (in her more spry years) and she would think nothing of jumping up on the couch and sitting right on me or lying on me and gaze up with that “you gotta love me look”. And yes there were those times of sharing her wine with me or was that my wine with her. Good drinking buddy she was. Good listener too!
C, I hope that she doesn’t suffer too much and that you don’t suffer too much also - do the right thing for all concerned it is your decision and remember it will be the right one what ever you do choose.
Jana is doing pretty good but I know that things could turn at any given moment, health and aging is like that…we can only hope for the best.
Thanks for the pictures- nice to get those (sigh).
Lots of hugs are coming my way and if there is still time with her please give Ella one for me. She is a rare good ole gal and so are you C!
Thinking of you both at this time.
lots of love and sympathy to you
L XXXOOO( and G. sends his best to you also)
Comment by Xtie — July 12, 2007 @ 8:07 pm
Dear C ….so sorry to hear about Ella. She has been certainly a wonder dog, and has had so many happy days with you, I am sure she will go straight to “doggie heaven” where she will thank you for all the very wonderful days you gave her ,with the walks and travels and think of all the stimulating talks you had together about other passing dogs- and their owners ! Don’t cry too much C, this is life what you going to do about it !!!!!!!!!! We will all meet each other up there in that great big sky one day, and then we can all start over again….Ole ! Ole!!
Lots of love to you, M
Comment by Xtie — July 12, 2007 @ 8:09 pm
i am so sad and sorry xtie… what a life lived! one less pal… be strong tomorrow, may the force be with you, love l
Comment by Xtie — July 13, 2007 @ 4:26 pm
Hey C,
I’m thinking of you today. A dog couldn’t ask for a more loving and
compassionate human. It’s a hard thing to do but I think it’s the right thing.
cmkl
Comment by Xtie — July 13, 2007 @ 4:27 pm
It is now almost three weeks since Ella was euthanized. I was grateful that the vet. doing the deed, confirmed that her heart was failing (the reason for her spells) and aside from that she was very weak in the hips. So, her death seems justifiable from a saving suffering point of view.
But, three weeks later I still think of her almost every day, find myself talking to her and thinking she would like these left-overs. The last couple of days have been hard in terms of remembering Ella and missing her. Expect that there are going to spells like this for awhile in the next year, maybe longer. My grief over Ella hasn’t stopped me from connecting with other dogs that I see and meet - makes it more poignant really when I see their tails wag, go ballistic. I wish humans could develop such a sign of joy when they see people they are familiar with!
Comment by Xtie — August 3, 2007 @ 2:06 am
I still miss old e-dog though the worst of my personal keening is done. But I find reminders of her still and they remind me of what a great pal she was to me (and others). Hugs and kisses to you Ella!
Comment by Xtie — September 13, 2007 @ 6:12 am